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The Art of Active Listening |
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Glenna
Fulks
Published on May 14, 2018 |
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It’s
absolutely true, listening is an art. And sadly, it has become a
lost art. Few actually do it well. It would seem to be a pretty
simple concept, but there are several deterrents that get in the
way.
Many of us are guilty of starting a
conversation and putting a thought or question out there.
Instead of giving the other individual time to formulate a
response, we immediately re-phrase the question or remark and
answer it ourselves. In other words, we don’t give ourselves a
chance to listen since we never stop talking.
The second reason is that even when
we stop and wait for a response from the other person, we often
don’t hear, or worse, comprehend, what they say because we are
so busy formulating our reply to what we assume they will say.
We want to be perceived as quick witted and always prepared with
a snappy comeback to any question or comment. The problem with
all of this is that we are missing so much vital and crucial
information.
I make my living organizing and
producing corporate conferences and special events. My clients
are usually executives who understand the value of gathering a
group of customers and holding their attention for two or three
days with a packed meeting agenda during the day and
entertainment in the form of receptions and dinners during the
evenings. These corporate undertakings are detail heavy and
typically not inexpensive. However the cost can merit
exponential returns when meticulously planned and well crafted
and that’s where I come in.
When a client calls and tells me they
want to discuss a new project, I listen. I want to hear every
word, pick up on each nuance, and watch their non-verbal body
language. When a person is excited to share information, or tell
you a very key point, they intuitively lean forward as if to
say, “don’t miss this next point because it is very important”.
So I remain quiet to hear every word, notice the inflection of
their voice, whether they raise or lower the volume and the tone
they use and watch for non-verbal hints.
People ask me all the time what I
attribute to creating a successful meeting and my answer,
without a doubt, is to be a good listener. Hear what your client
tells you, and how many times and ways they tell you the same
thing. When they mention a particular element, such as the need
for a timely and topical speaker or opening the conference with
a themed party that will set the mood and tone, then I take
note. It tells me what the core component needs to be and allows
me to build and frame the other aspects of the meeting to
correlate and coordinate from that point.
Here’s my last tip to share about
listening. Count to eight before you reciprocate. I have been
guilty of hi-jacking a conversation and realizing that I spoke
too soon and cut off the other individual's response. It will
seem like an eternity, but be smart and give the person with
whom you are communicating the time to acknowledge your comment
or statement. It builds respect and credibility. Not only does
this expand the opportunities for communication, but you also
allow yourself time to hear and take notice of their cerebral
nuances.
Happy listening. You’ll be surprised
what you hear!
From:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/art-active-listening-glenna-fulks/ |
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